Russia Defends Iranian Nuke Program; Considers Position Good Customer Service

While the civilized world has reacted with horror at Iran’s plan to harness the energy of the atom, as in bombs away, Russia has steadfastly defended the menacing mullahdom’s nuclear ambitions.

At first, any person distinguished for responsible behavior is taken back by such apparently reckless advocacy, not only because it seems wildly risky, if not outright self-destructive, but also because one does not expect it from people who have decided to present themselves as such reformed friends of humanity and trustworthy politicos that they dress in spiffy garb, instead of in their former universal drab.

We, however, turn to the hard-learned observation that, if anybody’s behavior doesn’t’ seem to make sense, you probably just don’t understand what his or her goals are.

Seen this way, the gremlin in the Kremlin is as obvious as the red power tie we often see dangling from Vladimir Putin’s neck. Iran buys weapons from Russia and will now buy enriched uranium, too, and Russia is just servicing the customer.

As V. P., who brought order to Russia by ordering his Russian cohorts around, said, “Once when I was in the KGB and didn’t have a lot to do, I read about the American department store tycoon, John Wanamaker, who once told a clerk, ‘When a customer comes in, forget about me.’ So when Iran comes up, I forget about everything but putting the customer first. It seems like the capitalist thing to do, and in the modern Russian economy, I think there’s at least room for that much free enterprise.”

One would think that there would be some awareness of the geographical limits of his enthusiasm. After all, Russia is a lot closer to Iran than we are. There are also other inescapable aspects of the client relationship that ought to be considered, among them that Vladimir and his gangsta-rich associates look as much like infidels to the Iranians currently steering their ship of state toward the reefs of war as we do.

What Lenin once said about capitalists apparently also applies to reformed communists: they would sell you the rope to hang them with.


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